People often talk about Kubler Ross’s 5 stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance - but I prefer to talk about the Dual Process Model of grief by Stroebe and Schut. Rather than looking at grief as linear or happening in stages, it sees grief as an oscillation between loss orientation and restoration orientation. At times, we can be loss oriented and feel the pain (including all the feelings described by the 5 stages theory) which we allow, and at other times we are restoration oriented, where we intentionally give ourselves a break and focus our minds on something else, for example, by doing things that soothe us, and give us thee psychological energy to go back and do the loss work. It’s the movement between these two that allows us to grow through grief.