Work through 28 sessions 15 minutes each
Have 30+ tools to help the moment you need them
Get your thoughts & emotions down & out
Support in your pocket, whenever you need, to balance your body and mind, hold the love in the past and present, and develop helpful routines.
Julia Samuel, MBE, is the Vice President of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.
As a leading grief psychotherapist, Julia has spent the last thirty years supporting bereaved families. She is the Founder Patron of Child Bereavement UK, with Prince William being Royal Patron, and was awarded an MBE for her services to bereaved children.
She is the author of two bestselling books: Grief Works and This Too Shall Pass.
-Pandora Sykes, journalist and host of podcast Doing It Right
Sign up for a free masterclass “Understanding Grief” with Julia Samuel
Participate in an honest conversation about the grieving process, learn why anger and guilt are commonly experienced when grieving, techniques to help you make it through another day, … and much more.
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The Grief Works app costs £49.99 per quarter or £199 for lifetime access. However if you cannot afford this, you can request a free account. We reserve 10% of all subscriptions for free accounts.
Grief can result from many types of death and loss, including living loss, facing one's own death, miscarriage, death of a pet, and more. Grief Works was created with all in mind, and its principles work equally for all.
Grief is the internal process that is adjusting to the loss or death of someone we care for. The experience is usually chaotic and disorienting, but everyone grieves in their own way. Manifestations can range from numbness to anger to depression. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
People often talk about Kubler Ross’s 5 stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance - but I prefer to talk about the Dual Process Model of grief by Stroebe and Schut. Rather than looking at grief as linear or happening in stages, it sees grief as an oscillation between loss orientation and restoration orientation. At times, we can be loss oriented and feel the pain (including all the feelings described by the 5 stages theory) which we allow, and at other times we are restoration oriented, where we intentionally give ourselves a break and focus our minds on something else, for example, by doing things that soothe us, and give us thee psychological energy to go back and do the loss work. It’s the movement between these two that allows us to grow through grief.
Grief is a naturally adaptive process. The intensity of the pain of grief changes over time but we are also changed by our grief. It’s a process through which we can grow and heal. Rather than “get over it,” we can accommodate it and learn to live with it, build our life around it, and it will alway influence us. We can be hit by grief decades after the person has died, triggered by our senses, like sights, touch, and smells, because they trigger our memory networks, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t processed our grief.
We all have a default mode of coping when in crisis when painful things happen to us. One of those ways may be switching off, shutting down and blocking our feelings. This could be why you’re not crying. It could also be shock, so let you body do what it needs to do, support yourself. There are many ways of expressing grief; tears is by no means the only one. You can help yourself by perhaps walking or listening to music, and allowing feelings to emerge. You may cry, or you may not, but don’t give yourself a hard time. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.